1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,841 Thank you all for celebrating me tonight. 2 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:11,011 Not only did Scoop Loop make me richer 3 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,429 with this partnership, 4 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,973 they even loaned me this Man Tiger. 5 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,392 So I'm gonna pay it forward. 6 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,482 4,000 pions to the first person that gets this out of his mouth. 7 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,405 Fight! Fight! 8 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,575 It's so kind of Sunny to give away the money she earned 9 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:36,369 for her Scoop Loop partnership to total strangers. 10 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,913 I've never seen such benevolence. 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,498 That ain't philanthropy. 12 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,792 That's exploitation, straight up. 13 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,669 - You think so? - I know so. 14 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,589 Anything given in excess and without solicitation 15 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:50,133 is just a tool used to exert power over the receiver. 16 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:52,844 And money is the most powerful tool there is. 17 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,345 It's mind control 101. 18 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,514 I know an aspiring tyrant when I see one. 19 00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,976 Ladi, that 10K I gave you, give it to me so I can give it 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,771 to people and make them do stupid stuff immediately. 21 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:05,732 I invested it in bomb stocks, you despot. 22 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,860 - Traitor. - I donated mine. 23 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,279 To the Leaky Larynx League of America. 24 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,114 I gave you guys that money 25 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,033 so you can do what I want you to do with it. 26 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,035 - Told you. - When you handed us the money, 27 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,870 you said there were no strings attached. 28 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,122 I always attach strings to my money. 29 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,890 Human citizens of South Central, Los Angeles. 30 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:46,314 We, the original Cyborgian Operative Decoys, 31 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,566 are here to fulfill the prophecy 32 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,236 of the late, great rapper-turned-martyr, 33 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,655 who, for some reason, we revere as a god. 34 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,909 Give thy weary ears and eyes to the ancient relic 35 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,412 from the time of our Lord Tupick. 36 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,999 And behold, the prophecy. 37 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:11,464 The ground will open up and the poor will eat the rich. 38 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,966 Thug life, baby. 39 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:15,802 How long you been down there? 40 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,846 Hold up now, hold up. Now, the prophecy says 41 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,264 the poor will eat the rich. 42 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:22,183 So, basically, what y'all are saying is y'all are poor. 43 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,310 Look it, if you guys need some money, 44 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,645 you can just ask, okay? 45 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,190 We have lots of it, thanks to Senorita Green's generosity. 46 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:31,860 Pobrecito! 47 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,659 Now, what the hell you do that for, Larry? 48 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:40,994 My bad. 49 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,788 Now, who here is rich? 50 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,833 What's up? 51 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,712 I mean, she makes money, but, I mean, rich is a stretch. 52 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,088 Man, I'm ballin'. 53 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,465 Yeah, but like, tennis ball ballin'. 54 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,342 I'd say ping pong. 55 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,012 I should slap you 56 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,472 with a lot of money for sayin' such things. 57 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,975 We're trying to protect you, dummy. 58 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,769 Can we go get pizza? 59 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,021 Seize her! 60 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,239 You know, they never said if they were poor or not. 61 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,160 Get your ass down there and tell us what you see. 62 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,457 Ay, dios mio. 63 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,709 They're really fucking poor. 64 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,086 How poor? 65 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,757 Their comforts of home are drawn on cardboard. 66 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:37,967 They got a jet ski down there? 67 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,302 How wide is that sofa? 68 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,054 - I got dibs on that TV, man. - Hell yeah. 69 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,555 Oh, shit, I could use a new puppy. 70 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,059 Shit! They're gaining up on us. 71 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,064 Man Tiger, let us mount you. 72 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,614 Damn, these guys are relentless, and I'm runnin' out of ammo. 73 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,699 Man Tiger, turn into that alleyway. 74 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,000 Pay attention, Nasty. 75 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,461 You need to get rid of all that cash, and quick. 76 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,338 Ladi's right. We can drop it off 77 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,966 at the church or the hospital-free hospital. 78 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,009 Anything to get these guys off of our tail. 79 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,594 No offense, Man Tiger. 80 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,182 I see what's happening here. 81 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,602 You guys are trying to level the playing field 82 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,688 by making me poor. 83 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,398 Christ on a cracker. 84 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,775 Admit it. You guys hate the fact 85 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,653 that between the three of us, I'm the only one that's… 86 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:40,905 … that's wealthy. 87 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,533 You're not wealthy. Wealthy people think long-term 88 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,119 and their spending and investing habits reflect that, 89 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,913 Mrs. 12,000 Pion-Worth Voice-Changer Surgery. 90 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,332 Very true. And by those metrics, 91 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,710 Ladi is technically the wealthiest among us. 92 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,714 There she is. 93 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:01,843 We're trapped! 94 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,637 Ladi, what about those shoes with the suction cups 95 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,389 you usually keep on you? The Suctionators? 96 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,558 Stopped sucking, so I got rid of it. 97 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,685 - Good one. - Wait, I have this. 98 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,023 Dude, gnarly! 99 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,649 How did you get your hands on that? 100 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,276 - Bomb stocks. - Oh, yeah? 101 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,695 Well, look at what my money can do. 102 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,823 Man Tiger, take us to an old lady's house? 103 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,950 That's dumb. 104 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,833 I'm so sorry. 105 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,048 - That's disgusting. - Noice! 106 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,718 Oh, God, you could have did this 107 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,345 over the wall back there, Man Tiger. 108 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,139 We're in danger! 109 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,309 Hold up. Do I smell cookies? 110 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,979 - Open the door right now. - Ma'am, please let us in. 111 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,564 Robots are trying to eat my friend. 112 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,400 And turn me into a god. 113 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,652 Sunny? Shut up! 114 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,696 What, you don't think that if I died, 115 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,074 my fans wouldn't uplift me to the heavens 116 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,533 and revere me as a god? 117 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,494 No. You'd just be dead. 118 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,662 Now, get your ass in this house. 119 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,331 Man, fuck this old lady… 120 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,249 - Sunny! - … and this old-ass lady's house. 121 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,584 Hear me out! Damn! 122 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,212 Y'all don't think I'm good enough to be a god? 123 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,047 Tell the truth. 124 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,091 I think you'd make a pretty angel. 125 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,927 Sunny, you're drunk. Now, come on! 126 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,428 Fuck you! 127 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,056 I'm more sober than I've ever been 128 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,892 because I can see my destiny, okay? 129 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,977 I just never thought my best friends 130 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,522 would try to stop me from stepping into it. 131 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,357 Man Tiger's eating the old lady! 132 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,361 Sorry. It's way past my shift, and I am starving. 133 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,987 I mean… 134 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,201 Wait. Why are you pointing that at me? 135 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,371 Because animals don't talk. 136 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,581 Au contraire. We talk. 137 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,542 We just choose not to around humans 138 00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,002 as a means to keep the peace and avoid shit like this. 139 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,005 But I've literally been talking to you this entire time, 140 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,925 and you guys have literally been responding to me, 141 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,677 so everyone, just calm down! 142 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,928 But you were "rorring." 143 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,598 Roari… "woaring." You… 144 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,726 Man, you were going "rawr, rawr, rawr," okay? 145 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,937 Yeah, like a tiger is supposed to. 146 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,231 Oh, my God, did you hear what I just said? 147 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,316 - Watch your tone! - Make me. 148 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,111 See what I mean? 149 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,071 When emotions run the show, things get messy. 150 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,990 Now, I totally get panicking, because you guys saw me 151 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,199 eating that nice old lady. 152 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,743 But pulling a gun on me because it confuses you? 153 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,497 Stop being so damn impulsive. And use your instincts! 154 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,339 What are you all looking at? Seize her! 155 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,601 What's the matter with you lot? Seize her! 156 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,144 She smells, sir. 157 00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,979 How dare you! 158 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,398 Pull yourselves together and bring her over here 159 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,733 so we can fulfill… 160 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,903 Oh, fuck, what is that? 161 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,282 Smells like tiger ass, sir. 162 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,869 She put money in Man Tiger's ass about an hour ago. 163 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,497 Yeah, and I sucked vodka out of it too. 164 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:21,000 What's the big deal? I'm still rich. 165 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,085 Yeah, you can still eat me. 166 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:29,175 Maybe if we hold our noses while we chew, it will help. 167 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,719 Silence! I propose a compromise. 168 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,387 We ogle her net worth. 169 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,223 If it's low, we let her go. 170 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,059 If it's high, we devour her. 171 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,603 - That didn't rhyme. - Hush up, stinky. 172 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:44,106 800,000 pion. That is it. 173 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,110 800,000 is still a lot of money. 174 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,529 Bullshit! 175 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,114 True high-worth individuals have over one million 176 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,866 in highly liquid assets. 177 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,952 You're… you're not rich. 178 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,954 You're just stable 179 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,122 and really fucking smelly. 180 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:01,707 Let's go, guys. 181 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,543 Hey, wait! 182 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,087 Sunny, what are you doing? They're letting you go. 183 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,382 You think I'm gonna let a bunch of ice cream cones 184 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,425 tell me what I'm worth? 185 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:12,885 Think again. 186 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:16,514 Do you guys have any idea who you just turned your back on? 187 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,934 Sunny fuckin' Green, bitch. 188 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,936 God of South Central. 189 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,524 Look around. I'm everywhere. 190 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,401 I'm on everything. 191 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:32,071 And when you think about it, I'm in everyone. 192 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,824 Because they're all drinking the beer with my face on it. 193 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,742 - We get it. - Good! 194 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,954 What am I without success or money, you ask? 195 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,582 I'm the most influential sentient being 196 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,834 within a 30-mile radius, bitch. 197 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,461 No, that's who you are with those things. 198 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,590 Oh, stop with the projections. Okay, all of you. 199 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,467 As a matter of fact, that's what this whole shit 200 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,261 has been about from the beginning. 201 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,222 Projections, deflections, and literal projectors, 202 00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,807 like this old piece of shit 203 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,434 that started all of this shit. 204 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,645 Once the ground beef is done, 205 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,106 you will open up the oven and pour the sauce in. 206 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,483 Now, you're ready to eat the rich, buttery flavor 207 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,901 of Tupick's Butter Beef. 208 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,237 Now that's thug life, baby. 209 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,826 What the…?! The prophecy isn't real? 210 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,663 The prophecy is a fuckin' beef ad?! 211 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:27,126 Looks like you guys were chasing the wrong meat. 212 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,130 Cheer up. 213 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,924 Things could have been a lot worse. 214 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,344 Yeah! 215 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,179 We could have all ended up dead, 216 00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:40,264 if the "steaks" were higher. 217 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,353 I'm horny, and I wanna T-Bone everyone here. 218 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,649 Sex with a hot Man Tiger? 219 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:53,194 I guess we're the real "wieners." 220 00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:00,993 Revised and synchronized FAST TITLES MEDIA